Where is home?

Hm. It's 1:15 AM, so if this sounds a bit like an awkward post, then that's probably because my body is screaming at me that I should be asleep, and yet for some reason I can't seem to get there. Lately I've read about a Christmas parade in Ranburne (the town where I grew up) and seen pictures of my family who lives there. I've seen pictures and heard comments about Auburn and the campus fellowship there that I was a part of for 2 years. And I've been here, in China. And I've seen people's faces light up when I say "Sheng deng kuai le" (Merry Christmas in Chinese). One of my teammates, who is much more like my brother now, asked me on the bus today something about studying "when you are at home." I couldn't answer. Because it took me a full 2 minutes to understand the question. I didn't know where home was. I'm still working on what exactly that means.


I've gotten to spend the past few days with people and children that I would gladly adopt.. as grandmothers and grandfathers or even as my own children. I've seen smiles and a few tears. I have seen snow and ice, frozen bus windows, and frozen lakes. Muffins, Christmas songs, bananas and oranges, sharing His word. I love it. I love the people. What now? One of my favorite songs. By Steven Curtis Chapman. What can I do with it? What will I do with it in my future, and where will I put it in my life? This trip, more than a trip really, had been a lifestyle, it has been a complete rearranging of thoughts of feelings, of who I am. I look forward with anticipation to the continued change.

A Friend

So today we went to a new nursing home. It's about 3 stories tall and we saw only a few of the many residents there. We were, however, able to pass out a muffin to each person there thanks to a couple of sisters here in our community who were willing to make and wrap about 150. =)

So anyway, on the way home we each shared something we learned. One of my teammates has just arrived back from Beijing. She was sharing that she is not a believer, but recently has been introduced to a reason to believe in Dad's existence. She had just bought some new earrings in Beijing, and not ten minutes later, a piece fell off of one and she couldn't find it anywhere. She was all prepared to give up when she said "*Father help me." It was barely out of her mouth when she stepped on the piece that had fallen off. =) So now she's "waffling" back and forth. Please pr for this sweet girl and all of those family members surrounding her. She has such an amazing heart.

The Ultimate Game of Chicken

Haha. Ok, so have you ever played chicken.. I mean the real thing, in cars, where you drive as fast as you can toward one another and turn at the last possible second? Well, I played that at least 3 times yesterday. Only, I wasn't driving. I was in a taxi.

I love the traffic in China. It's terrifying and nerve-wrecking and amazing. There are traffic laws, but they do not really get enforced. Red lights only mean stop when there are people on the other street, and then only sometimes still. Yellow lights most definitely mean speed up. And the lines for lanes.. those don't really exist. You swerve and slam on brakes and almost get run over by buses everywhere you go. I love it. It isn't uncommon for taxi drivers to go up on the bicycle part of the sidewalk when there is a red light to get ahead of everyone. However, one day, even my public bus went up on the sidewalk.. that was a bit interesting. It is also not uncommon for the taxi drivers to see a small break in traffic on the other side of the road, in oncoming traffic and take off. You get up to 65 mi/hr (which doesn't seem all that fast, but we're in the city) and try to make it around as many people as possible, all while looking for a place to jump back in and dodge oncoming vehicles. If you get motion-sick, you probably shouldn't come to China. There is one rule: if it's bigger than you, you let it go where it wants.

Icicle anyone?

I have a very fun, very simple story for you guys. This morning at around 7:30 AM, I left the apartment, not knowing that it was raining to go along with the freezing temperatures. Of course, I cannot judge temperature at all.. I have been freezing for the past week and it has only been in the 50s. So I walked outside, fighting the wind and rain. With my hood on, my longjohns on under my skirt, and my boots, I'm scared to even think about what I looked like. I was walking to the bus stop to go to school and had the random thought that maybe I should send a text to one of my friends and tell them "I'm an icicle." Well, almost as soon as I thought it, the rain changed to sleet just long enough to cover my jacket in droplets of ice, and then it promptly changed back into rain. :) I laughed the whole way to school (forgetting to ever even send the text). If anyone doubts that our Father has a sense of humor, think again. Haha.. it still makes me smile...

New Faces, New Heart

I started back to class today. I dropped down to the class below the one I was taking, and it's taken so much stress off of me. :) Buh-bye headaches. It's pretty much the same things.. even the same books.. just a lot slower-paced. So I'm hoping I'll catch more as well. I was invited to sit beside a girl named Ann (short for Anna). I find that interesting on two accounts: first, the fact that Ann is my middle name and second, that she is the second girl I've become friends with recently here that is named Anna. Hmm.. maybe I'm supposed to name a future child Anna. :)

So on a more serious and a little less day-dreamy note, part of my team just left for a trip to Cambodia and a rather large clinic there. It's a really exciting experience for them. They were all so excited to go. It's fun to see the Father putting that same desire to "Go." into their hearts that led me to this country. Also, this weekend, I'm sharing with a group of teenage foreign girls. I have an idea of what I want to say, but allowing Him to lead my tongue will be more beneficial than preparing a lifetime.

Temperatures are dropping and coats and layers are being put into use. I can't wait for the first snow!!

A speedbump in the midst of a blur..

So today has been amazing, but doesn't even compare to yesterday. :) Yesterday was more than an adventure. It was a day where friendships are bonded together with memories that last more than a lifetime. But alas, I have decided not to blog about that tonight. I'll give an overview and then on to a more thought-evoking idea.

Yesterday was filled with laughter and fun. A couple of new friends and I set out with one and only one idea in mind: to purposefully get lost. :) I've gotten lost more than my share of times here, but I've discovered there's no better way to learn your way around and have fun while doing so. So... we left on a random bus, singing Disney songs, hoping it would take us out of the city, watched some of a mahjong game where a Chinese guy decided to set me up with his friend (they didn't know I understood them. haha), hopped another bus, ending almost where we started unfortunately (and dropped one of my friends off), explored a park, found a Starbucks to have a snack in, got haircuts telling the guys to "do whatever," and had supper asking our waiter to bring us whatever he liked. It ended in some much-needed discussions on both sides, and lots of listening. :) Very blessed day, very incredible.

Today, I want to leave this as the main thought though. It gripped me when I first heard it, and I love to share it now with anyone who is willing to read it. It's entitled A Different Kind of Pr.

Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and was rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few few precious moments with her children.

Help us remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-yr-old college student, balancing an apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us that the scary-looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress is savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they get to go shopping together.

Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love and tolerance. It is not enough to share the love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not just to those who are close to us, but to all humanity.

Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive.

Bless us with patience, empathy, love... and tolerance.
A**n.

If only we could all take time out of our day (myself included), out of the time we spend rehashing the list of things to do today, or what our amazing plans are for this weekend (that we absolutely can't wait to get started!), and instead of seeing a frustrating blur of people and busyness, see faces, see people, and see what might be behind the actions of those we so easily frown upon, see the Father (or lack of) in their hearts, and come to the rescue. That could mean something as simple as a smile and quick "hello" versus a scowl or words under our breath.

We went to the park this week and my niece found a guy in a wheelchair to quickly become friends with. She didn't know his name, didn't see someone who "might be better left alone", but discovered a heart in need of just what she could give, priceless and unreserved love. In the midst of shaking hands and holding up precious little arms to be picked up, she wrung a smile straight from his heart. Would that we could all do that in the week to come.

Memories Galore...

So today is a memory day. I've been listening to some older, random songs on my ipod for the past couple of hours. I think I have a memory for every song. Haha. It's amazing. I have thought of everything from Graduation Day in high school (I'm Not Gonna Cry-Corrie Smith) to beta convention my junior? year (With You-Avril Lavigne) to band bus rides (strangely enough.. This I Promise You-NSync) to dances after football games (I'll Be-Edwin McCain). Soo many things wrapped up in so few lines. If someone had asked me about my high school graduation earlier today, I might've remembered a little, but nothing like when I heard our class's song. I find myself wondering where everyone is and how their day is going. It's odd to think that 3 years ago, we were all in the same classes with each other everyday.

On a fun note, I woke up yesterday to make chocolate chip muffins before some of our friends came over. My sister had all ready measured everything out for me, thankfully, because I was a little later getting up than I had planned. Well, unfortunately, I promptly poured the water in without even looking at how much it was. :) I noticed that something was wrong when it looked like soup.. didn't the recipe say to stir until SLIGHTLY moistened?? Um. Yeah. So I put in 1 1/2 cups instead of 1/2 cup of water that it called for. Finding a recipe to add to it was not too big of a deal, and it was a new experience for me.. I don't bake many breakfast things. Now I know how to make muffins!! Yay!! Haha.

I had my first test today in my Chinese classes. It was pretty rough. If I actually took time to study a lot, I would do fine, but I really enjoy what I do with my afternoons much more. Therefore, I may be dropping down a class soon. My team and I went to a nursing home last Thurs. instead of the countryside. It was an awesome experience, and some awesome time spent with friends and with my Father. A couple of other ladies and I went and did our own thing while we were there, visiting a couple of rooms and singing songs (in English). I'm working on learning a few in Chinese though! :) These are a couple of ladies that sang with us.

Amazing Night

I had the absolute best time Thursday that I have had in an extremely long time. In terms of what I did, it wasn't so very different from other Thursdays. But in terms of what the Father revealed to me and the joy I felt, it was so awesome.

As much joy as the people have at seeing us at the nursing homes, orphanage, and countryside clinics, the weight of their oppression and how dismal the places are was really starting to get to me last week. I felt weighted for them. I was staying tired all of the time, and I was beginning to wonder why He would bring me here to go to these places when it seemed I could do little. I can't communicate, and I can't share the hope I have in Him to brighten up their days, simply because I don't know the language. So on the way to the countryside Thursday, I spent a lot of time in pr. I also spent some time resting. We arrived and the people were so thrilled to see us. One of the ladies even remembered my name! That alone made me feel as though I had a larger impact than I originally thought. While we were there, one of my co-workers also shared that my eyes were always so bright. I know that could not possibly be coming from me, because I had been feeling so down and tired, and I was sure that that was showing. So I knew at that moment that all of my pr's had been answered for His light to shine through me.

Then, on the way home, as I rested even more in Him, He showed me the stars. That may sound odd, but I really like staring at the stars. Part of that may come from growing up in the country and being able to look up and see a sky chock full of them. I can point out a few constellations, and when I looked up from my window in the van that night, I saw one of those. It gave me peace. :) Also, when we stopped to eat, we played a game of Killer. That sounds really bad, but it was fun, and it's a game that I've played with my band family before a long time ago. It was just that everything was working together so perfectly to show me just how much He loves me, and that I really am supposed to be here. Dad's so amazing!!

FrO?

My friends, Jaime and Isaac, from Beijing came in for the weekend last weekend. They arrived on Friday night and stayed until Sunday afternoon. It was so much fun. We toured campus, played speed scrabble and dutch blitz, and ate Chinese food. You would think, living in China, that the last part of that would not be that exciting. However, I live with another American and a Canadian, both of whom's favorite website is allrecipes.com. So in all actuality, we don't have much Chinese food. So anyway, Jaime braided my hair on Saturday night really tightly, so I could leave it up for a couple of days. :D (That meant I got to sleep later.) So when I finally took it down on Monday night, it was a bit poofier than normal to say the least.. AND I could style it into a heart. :) Isn't that fun??

yi yue

Hey guys. Sorry it has been SOO long since I updated. Abigail, my sister Melinda's foster girl just had surgery on August 17. She had to have surgery to remove a buildup of muscle from the lining of her intestines, because it was causing a blockage. I know that seems like a while back, so let me give you a time frame. We (Melinda, Abigail, Ethan-her other foster child, and I) checked into the hospital on August 11. However, the day before we actually spent the day at the hospital as well. Abigail could not eat or drink anything from the 11th until the 24th. She had a successful surgery, and now can actually eat chunks of food like a normal 3 year old. I stayed in and out at the hospital with them, and everyone finally came home on the 27th. YAY!! This week things have been really crazy. I started Chinese classes Wednesday. They are really fun, and difficult at times, but 2 of my 3 teachers speak English and the third uses a lot of body language. I kinda feel like I'm in a game of charades sometimes. :) They're going really well. I also went to the foster home and countryside with LIGHT. I'll get to go to the orphanage again tomorrow. The kids there are just getting over a round of hand, foot, and mouth disease. Then, Friday night, a couple of our friends from Beijing came in and stayed the weekend with us. It was awesome.. but now I'm worn out. :)

In the past month we've gone to Starbucks for my roommate Heather's birthday, I've gotten lost and trapped in WalMart, and I've walked more looking for busses than I ever have in my life. It has been amazing. As far as Walmart goes, you leave a different way than you come in, and I couldn't find it. That was a bit scary, but makes for a really fun story now! Starbucks was fantastic as always. I'm also getting used to the walking finally. It's been a really great experience. I love being here, although the hospital gave me enough culture shock to want to go home a couple of times. The Father has gotten me to today, and I know He holds the future in His hands, thankfully. Here are a couple of fun pictures from the best parts...


Abigail on surgery day...

At the nursing home on Wednesday


Starbucks!!!!!

Lost in the woods? No! in Shenyang!

Haha. I feel like so much has happened this week I do not even know where to begin. The one story that should be the most fun, however, is my getting lost story. When I first arrived back in China, I was all prepared to go out and do things on my own. After all, I have to learn somehow, and I'll be here for a year. However, somewhere between not knowing where in the slightest I was going on some days, and the 94 stairs up to my sister's apartment, I became a little discouraged in this idea. :) Imagine that.

When I was in the States, and still preparing for my trip, I took a journey one afternoon. I travelled on the interstate nearby to a city that I barely knew and proceeded to take any and every turn I came across, per His nudging. I took so many turns after a while that I could not have gone back that way if I tried. I ended up at one point on an old old blacktop that had no lines and looked similar to some of the dirt roads around home. It was then that I leaned completely on my Dad. Finally, sometime after dark, I ended up in a town that I knew, not too far from home.

Now, I know what this trip was preparing me for. I accompanied a friend to the apartment of a mutual friend of ours on Friday. The problem when I left though, was that I was leaving to go home alone, and I realized at some point that I had not followed the spoken directions like I thought I had. I was lost. So I walked. I finally found a main road, which was bound to have bus stops. It did!! Unfortunately, it did not have any buses that I was familiar with. So I walked some more. I finally saw the bus I was looking for going the opposite direction, but I did not know which way I should be headed. I must have looked terribly lost though because eventually a college student stopped me and asked me if I needed help getting a taxi in broken english. That in itself was amazing. My sister said that she has even pulled out her map before and tried to look lost so that someone would help her, and no one did. With the help of a map, she pointed me home. I did not catch a name, but she was most certainly used by my Father.

Abigail

This is a link to the blog by the pretty amazing lady who lives with my sister and I: Heather. One of her most recent posts tells more about the adorable child that my sister is fostering. She is about to have surgery so that she can continue to eat and grow with the same speed and ability that she has been now for the year and a half my sister has had her.



Look at the difference!!

Interning

I went to the orphanage with LIGHT yesterday afternoon. It was the first day of my internship, and although I wasn't entirely sure of what it would entail, I think it went well. My taxi driver knew where I was going, so I didn't have to direct him. I got to cuddle with an adorable little girl with Down Syndrome for at least an hour, and I got to play with some older children. Of course, I wanted to bring all of them home with me, but that's impossible for many reasons. They were all so precious. I am so excited that I will be able to spend every Monday with these children.

Cars and Laughter

So... I had a few random thoughts yesterday. Sadly, I am only just now getting around to writing about them. The first were a few things having to do with traffic laws here in China. I already knew, for instance, that I cannot look outside the front window of a taxi that I am in because my nervous system does not handle it very well. They go where they want regardless of who or what is already there. It can be fun at times, but other times, it scares me to death. That could have something to do with having no stop signs at intersections other than on main streets. I have yet to see many stop signs at all actually... just a few stoplights on main streets. You simply get to the end of the street and pull out onto the next one, barely glancing behind you. If you waited for people to let you out, you would be waiting all day. However, somehow this idea works here for the most part. That brings me to my second thought. Traffic wrecks. I've only seen a couple in the time I've spent here, and I've been in a minor one (the taxi we were in hit another taxi last year). The others that I saw, as well as the one we were in, had no police called out. The drivers simply get out and decide whose fault it is, and pay the amount they figure for damages right then and there. Obviously, I've never seen more than fender-benders. I'm not sure what would happen with a really bad wreck. However, no one stops for wrecks. They simply go around. My sister informed me that this is actually safer because if others tried to stop, people would just end up in more wrecks.

The third thought that I want to focus on from yesterday is a little more serious and a little more intense. My sister is fostering two children. We went to a friend's house yesterday and they are fostering two children as well. Their little boy, Nathan, was really having a rough time at one point and was crying near hysterics. Abigail, my niece, was sitting there listening and suddenly started tearing up and looking all concerned. She would look from him, to my sister, and back at him. Then, her lip started quivering and she looked hard at my sister for all she was worth. It was all you could do but hear her say “Fix it!!” even though she was saying nothing at all. It broke my heart. Her heart was broken for her friend. She quite literally felt his pain. She didn't have to know why he was crying, she wasn't busy being nosy, she just wanted it fixed for him. If children are born with that high of a level of empathy for others, where does it go when we reach adulthood? Our Father says that we should be sad when others are sad, and happy for them when they are happy. Why can we not share in others' joy without being envious, and why must we know why someone is crying before we comfort them and encourage them? Just something for us all to think about today (myself included).

I'm here!

Hey guys. I made it. After 17 hours of flying, I'm here! My trip was incredible. It began and ended with incredible views of the top of clouds and a sunset which was so amazingly peaceful, and much of the middle was spent sleeping soundly. :) I made a few new friends as well. Now I have spent a full day here and go in to start my internship on Monday! Yay! The babies are incredibly precious, and it is so good to see my sister again. I am so excited about what all He has in store for me, and what all I will be able to accomplish for Him while I am here. The smells and stairs will take a little getting used to, but I am so thrilled to be back. Thanks for all the support! Love you!