"stanley steamer gets carpets cleaner..."

I decided to make good use of my evening and clean our carpets tonight. Well, I borrowed my dad's steam cleaner, and when my mom left for work, I also got to work. It's so strange to me how God can use anything to teach us lessons. I had my evening all planned out, which probably was a bad sign to begin with (because that never works well for me), but I ignored that little fact and figured I could work this little task into about 10-30 minutes and move on to cleaning the rest of the house. Two hours and about 25 tanks of water/cleaner later, when I was still working on the same room, I decided that plan was officially out the window. :)

About that time, God put one word into my head: patience. A couple of days ago, I had a conversation with a friend about why patience is important. We know that "love is patient," and that "God is love," and that we are supposed to be "Christ-like." So all of it fits right? We shoud practice patience. But what is the main goal of patience? I've heard over and over that when I have children, I'll automatically understand, but what about those of us who don't have children (or even the guy.. so no kids in the relative future)?

Well God used the steam cleaner to teach me a few things about how He, as a Father, has patience with us. How many times does He work on us, in one spot, over and over, trying to make us clean, never giving up? How many times do we do that with others before we get angry at them and give up or bite their head off? Before I moved to the next room I tried something different.. just using water. Who knew that would work better?! How much do we try to mix our own solutions with God's, or give God a little time to work and then give up and try to fix things ourselves??

Proverbs 19:11
"A man's wisdom gives him patience;
it is to his glory to overlook an offense."

...

Bright Lights?

So I was on my way home last night and when I was getting in my car, I noticed how amazing the moon looked. It was huge and bright and definitely an eye catcher. Just one of those things that makes you sigh and think "oh wow. Thanks for the reminder of Your beauty Father!" So I pulled out of the parking lot at Hardee's where I had met my Dad to go to the TN line to take a load of logs, and as I headed this way, I started entering Heflin town limits and there were street lights scattered about. I had been trying to keep my eye on the moon occasionally, just because it was so ridiculously gorgeous, and I realized that when I passed these street lights, the moon seemed so dull in comparison.

And that got me thinking.. We know that the sun's light, even reflected off of the moon, is so so much brighter than the filaments in these little street lights. It has to be that much brighter, just to be possible for us to see it from so far away. And I thought, how often do we choose things that seem so much brighter in the here and now, when we KNOW that God's hand in our lives, HIS plans for us, are really so much better, so much brighter? We KNOW what's coming when we die, and yet so much of the time, we choose to live in the here and now, rather than for what's coming...

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:1-4

Dad? or disrespectful?

I still remember (very vividly) one day that my heavenly Father became a lot more personal. When I was in Auburn, Liz McCollum introduced the idea to me, but that was a bit beyond my grasp. I mean, how could I justify calling the creator of the entire universe “Daddy”? And wasn’t that disrespectful?! But then… one day on the other side of the world, the day of my team Thanksgiving party, I was freaking out. I had let worry consume me. There are a number of times that I can remember absolutely falling apart from worry (I mean knock down drag out almost paralyzed me hyperventilating), usually because I was running late for something important. Well, this day was one of those days. I wanted to be at the hotel early because I was setting up an area with encouragement posters for people to sign. It was going to be close. I had come back to my sister’s apartment with what I thought was plenty of time to get ready. I didn’t leave a lot of spare room for things to happen, and unfortunately, that’s usually when everything tends to go wrong right?

Well, that day, I was also MC’ing, which I wasn’t overly thrilled about, but that meant I absolutely could NOT be late. (Somewhere in all of my falling-apartness I also forgot that I was in a different country, and all times are relative.) So anyway, I was at home, had gotten my shower, making a mental list in my head of what all I needed to happen before I left and once I got there. Well, I had to find an outfit, which took a little longer than planned because the perfect one, my zipper on my jeans wouldn’t work. It zipped up and down, it just didn’t attach the two sides together. And I just couldn’t find anything else (and I realize now just how childish that sounds). Granted, not many days before all of this, my suitcase had been left in the back of a taxi with half of my wardrobe in it, so it really was kinda slim pickens in my closet. Well, I postponed the zipper to try to do something with my hair, and it wouldn’t cooperate for the world. It wouldn’t do anything. Sigh. By that point I was ready to scream. I had to pause and help Abigail where she had had an accident in the floor. I still had to get online and print or write down directions to this place. It was nightmarish. On top of everything I was not at home (my Ranburne home, or even Auburn). I couldn’t find something familiar, curl up and catch my breath. And I lost it. Bawling, I sat on the edge of my bed and cried and cried, and finally asked God to help. Well, after a couple more tries and when I let God teach me how to breathe again, I finally got my zipper to work, and had this image pass through my head of what I could do with my hair. I have no doubt in my mind that it was from God. So, it worked, and was actually cute. (And I’ve never been able to get my hair to do that same thing since!) I got everything written down and was out the door. Daddy had taught me how to breathe again. He was even still there when I freaked out (just a little this time) at the fact that there were NO taxis going that far south. Lol. Figures, right? Well, miraculously, I made it on time, early in fact. But that day, He became my Dad, one who wanted me to cry out to Him for help. He was the one that didn’t run away from my breakdown, but helped me through it, giving me solutions that only He could. They might seem like simple things, but haha.. never tell someone who is hyperventilating that their problems are simple.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

We are...

"For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh." Phil 3:3

So I've been studying this out recently. What does it mean to be "the circumcision"? The definition that I found that really stuck with me is "spiritual purification". But then again, what does it mean for us, as Christians, to be the spiritual purification of the world? In looking up other places where the words circumcision or uncircumcised are used, I found verses that talk about uncircumcised lips (Ex 6:12), ears (Jer 6:10), hearts (Lev 26:41), and the fruit of a tree (Lev 19:23). So then I had to explore what these passages told me.

When the Bible speaks of uncircumcised lips and ears, and even somewhat of the fruit of a new tree, it refers to them not working as they were designed to, or not to their full potential. It says Moses' lips were faltering, ears that were uncircumcised were not able to hear or understand the Word of God, and the tree planted in a new land had to go through a period of time before it was considered holy and before it could be eaten.

The passage that really stood out to me though, was Leviticus 26:41-42, about our hearts. It says "when their uncircumcised hearts are humbled and they pay for their sin, I will remember my covenant with Jacob and my covenant with Isaac and my covenant with Abraham, and I will remember the land." So in my mind, this meant that uncircumcised must be the opposite of humbled in a way. So what does humble mean? The answers I found: to lower in importance, to destroy the independence power or will of, and to make meek (i.e. submissive, compliant, unassuming, yielding, calm, patient, etc.). Haha this may be hard to follow, but here goes. So if humble is the opposite of uncircumcised, then being humble is almost the same as being circumcised right?

So, as we are called "the circumcision," we're called to lower ourselves in importance. We're called to destroy our independence, and become dependent on God. We're called to destroy our power or will, in trading it in for the power of Christ and His will. And we're called to be meek, or patient, yielding, and submissive to others.

I know I certainly can't say I've really been on course with all of those recently. And if that's what it takes to be the spiritual purification, I have some work to do...

I was talking to a friend last night and decided that my new ice breaker is going to be "One time I ate ______." So no more awkward silences. They will now be filled with random comments about scorpions and dog meat named snowball. :)

I feel like God has shown me so much in the past year. I left Auburn and all of my friends a little over a year ago to come to my mom's and prepare to "travel the world" as so many say. Well, I know that I have still seen very little portions of it but I am so incredibly blessed to have had even that opportunity. It no longer seems awkward to introduce myself to a stranger and have a conversation with them. It's simply nice to be understood again; although, I can't lie, I loved trying to sort through all of the chinglish.

A tidbit about me.. children have stolen my heart. Kids of all ages. They're indescribably precious. Have you ever noticed that no matter what a child does, it's so much harder to get/stay mad at them than other adults. Children seem to have the world figured out in all of the simplest ways. It makes me sad to think of how much of that we forget as we get older. We should maybe listen to them a little bit more often.

Matthew 11:25-26
"At that time Jesus said, 'I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.'"

Real?

I was looking back through pictures of my time in China just now, and I found myself in a few pictures.. but I barely recognized me. I looked so different. And it took me a bit to figure out what it was that made me look that way, or what about these pictures looked different. And then it hit me. I looked.. real. No mask, no fear, no frustration. Just real.

"I am writing these things to you about those who are trying to lead you astray. 27As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him. 28 And now, dear children, continue in him, so that when he appears we may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming." 1 John 2:26-28

As I looked through more, I felt like I could really SEE it.. the fact that God could use us the most in our weakness. The beginning of my time there, when I was wasn't trying to impress anyone (didn't know anyone to impress), but really just trying to relate without words at all, was when it seems like I could relate the best.

At a loss..

For the world I can't think of what to write about. I'm tired of being here, although I know I should be doing something. The question is what? I spoke about my time in China at my home group last week, and it went well other than my overactive use of the word "um." People are starting to think I'm crazy for talking about missing colder weather. I miss my bundles of jackets and scarves.

I was up at 2 AM this morning to go on a road trip with my dad. We went to Centerville and back, delivering logs. Admittedly, I had experienced a bit of nostalgia as we broke into Oxford and I saw all the city lights. I did enjoy the storm we drove through (moreso because I wasn't the one driving), but I enjoyed the fog afterwards even more. We made it to the other side of the storm about the time it started getting light enought to see outside and it reminded me so much of the last part of Pride and Prejudice. It was gorgeous. It was a fun trip. :)

Forgotten...

So yeah. I forgot about my blog for a while; although, I really have little new information for you. Being back in the States is... I don't really know how to describe it. Boring for the moment. I'm job searching (like probably 3/4 of the population here). I've applied to Shorter University in Rome, GA for this Fall. I am baby-sitting, pet-sitting, cleaning, and lots of little odd jobs to stay busy. I've also decided to spend time studying different cultures and languages while I'm out of school. I'm one of those strange people.. it bugs me not to have school work to do. :) I guess that makes me a bit of a geek?

Sigh. It's been a little difficult to readjust to things here, and I have my "China days" where I feel like doing nothing but concentrating on friends there and everything that happened during my time there. But it's going.. ok. I'm still learning, and growing. And Dad has used my life on the other side of the world to open doors to talk to others here that I never would have imagined. He's always faithful.

I apologize for neglecting my blog for soo long. :/ I guess it happens. Love ya'll!

Out and About

Today I went to the Fu Xing nursing home for probably the last time. I adore the people there. Three of the older gentlemen became family members!! PTL!! One of the little old ladies is reminds me quite a bit of one of my aunts. Both have/had Alzheimer's, and both are/were amazing. The last time I went to Fu Xing, the lady there thought I was her daughter, and in the midst of feeding her an orange, she stopped eating and made sure I had a bite as well before she would eat any more. She can't walk anymore, due to a pretty bad fall that injured her hip and ankle, and it's dampened her spirits a bit. Any pr's would be welcome. I'm so sad to be leaving these new friends. It was difficult to hear today that one of them has passed away in the past month, but he was in a lot of pain, and had accepted Dad, so I know he's in a better place. Dad has shown me so much through their precious lives, and holding hands and talking to them has made all the difference in the world to me, and I hope to some of them as well.

A New View

So I realized today after walking a few miles that my attitude has changed a bit in the past seven months. When I first arrived, I wasn't thrilled to even have to walk to the bus stop every morning, which is maybe a half mile at the very most. Today, a friend and I had lunch, and after discovering that she had no patients, we decided to take a walk. We walked at least a few miles, but it was really warm today (40s), and it felt incredible, so I didn't realize how far we'd walked until my friend commented on it. I felt like I could walk forever! Walking is not the only way in which my view of the world has changed, but it's certainly a noticeable one. I also have learned what it means to be patient (potty training tends to teach that), how much of a treat it is for some people to be able to come in to the city, and how beautiful and incredible Dad is in every aspect of our lives, as well as the fact that He has control over every situation.

I was walking a few days ago, looking for a certain bus. I had gotten off of one and was looking for my connecting one. Anyway, the directions I had written down for myself apparently weren't the best. I got lost. I took a turn, found a bus yard where my bus was parked and felt like jumping up and down.. until 20 minutes later when I finally asked someone and found out that the buses do not start or end there. :( So I was once again lost. I left the bus yard and continued down the road until I came to an intersection. I wanted to go straight until I found a bus. The "common sense" in me thought that if I started making turns, it would be harder to find the main road again. However, I felt a small little voice, just once, say "left". So after a few steps, I went back and turned left. At the first intersection I found the bus I was looking for. :) I have no doubt that the small voice was Dad. He's just good like that.

So incredibly blessed!

Today has been amazing. I guess it really started last night though. I received an email from a friend about plans for when I arrive Stateside (in roughly 3 1/2 wks), as well as having a second friend invite me to either a baseball or basketball game not long after I return. I can honestly say that it was a answer to pr to remember that I'm going to have people to talk to, and that I felt like I was walking on a cloud. I have been blessed with some of the most incredible friends in the world (although, I'm admittedly a bit biased)! =)

So I started talking about today and ended up at yesterday. Today... I taught English, learned about Chinese New Year, shared my week with an awesome accountability group, and went to a nursing home with a pretty awesome group of people! I haven't laughed as much as I have today in a LONG time. Smiles are contagious. It's official. My Father is the most amazing one I could ask for and I love HIM beyond compare!

38 sticks of level 3 "coffeeness" is the best way to start your day. Just sayin.










Adorable? I think so.

DanceDanceRevolution and a New Car.. say what?

I have been hanging out a lot with friends for possibly the last time lately. I will be returning to the States on March 2 (with my mom! more on the in a minute). But that means that for those students and other foreigners who are going home for the Chinese holidays, I will not see them again before I leave. This break is actually longer for some people than summer break. The students get out at the beginning of January and go home for Chinese New Year/Spring Festival (Feb 14 this year).. and the dorms don't re-open until the beginning of March. So I've had a few interesting hang-out times..

Including one with a foreigner friend named Julie. She just left to go Stateside for the holidays. We went looking for a suitcase for her before she left and there was a lot of riggamaroe involved. Apparently, some shops require you to get a cash card to buy things there which is like a gift card (you just give them the money and they put it on the card) for personal use. *shrug* So we had to go hunt that down. And when she did, she received an orange and got entered into a drawing for a new car. Unfortunately, she didn't win the car.




On the way to the 5 different booths/shops it took to find everything, we passed an employee playing the Chinese version of dance dance revolution. :D Haha. So I gave it a shot. It's been a few years since I played, but I did okay til it drew a crowd. Then I lost focus. :( Anyway, after all that, we went and had coffee and talked for a while. It was a good day. I'm going to miss all these friends.. I'm excited that I can keep in touch with most of them though. Internet is amazing!! Dad has blessed me so richly in my relationships with people here!

My mom is coming to China!! She's arrives February 18th and will fly back home with me in March. It's her first time on a plane and her first time out of the country. :) Please keep her in your pr's! Also, as things are winding down in China, I still encounter new things and people daily. Please remember me that I will see every opportunity to bless Dad for what it is. Thanks ya'll! Love ya!

HoLiDaYs

Hey guys! Happy 2010! It's a bit chilly here.. reaching -20C and colder some days (which is neg in Fahrenheit as well). I hope wherever you are you're snuggled in a nice cozy room. =) I have gotten to go to nursing homes, a foster home, and an orphanage over the past few weeks. It's so amazing to see so many smiles. People joined the family right and left. And some were even washed. Very fun.


I'm getting ready to come back in February. I feel like Dad is telling me it is time to go home. It's stressful as well as a release of stress in more ways than one. I'm feeling a bit like I'm being pulled in a billion different directions. But Dad is good. And I just have to trust Him. I hope everyone's Christmas and New Years' was wonderful! Love you guys!