#inthepearlofafrica

Tonight I watched a 13 yr old iron her sheets before putting them on and perfectly making the bed she would sleep in about 4 hours later. After reading this morning about the vineyard owner who entrusts his fields to workers that kill his own son (Mark ) and after seeing this precious girl do her sheets with no prompting, I am left wondering tonight if I have ever fully grasped the meaning of the title "Steward." What do i do with all I have been given?

My second week here, a shop owner asked me if I could sing. I said that I like to but rarely do. She then asked if I could dance. I said, "not really." She asked if I could move side to side and turn around. Yes? Then I could dance. And I should not make little of the gifts and abilities God has given me.

What is a good steward? I have seen the people here iron their tshirts, sweep their dirt paths, polish their shoes every night, take their shoes off before entering a house with a dirt floor, wash their vehicles regularly before driving on dirt or mud, mop multiple times a day, etc. The list could go on and on. For some it is excessive. For me, it is convicting. What people live their lives like is a testimony to the people they represent. For us that includes the God that breathed us into being. How can I not try everyday to go above and beyond what is required of me in order to show others that I am trustworthy? Not just with things I own but also with relationships. If they can trust me completely with those, shouldn't they be able to trust my words about a God who loves, cares, and provides for me?

We are almost halfway through our internship and I already can't imagine ever not being here. These kids and these people are quickly becoming family. I'm falling in love with Uganda.

Uganda Chapter 1

How do I fit two weeks into one blog post? I will start by saying, "I am in Uganda!" My heart is full. I have met most of the 115 kids that sozo cares for, and let me just tell you, they are PRECIOUS.

One of our babies last night during devotional was paying pretty close attention, but still does not always catch everything that is said in English or its translation. The devotional was on choices and how accepting Christ is a choice we can make.. the biggest choice. It said that some things we are born with are not a choice, like whether we have "big noses, blue eyes, or curly hair." At the end we always ask what anyone has learned. This sweet little one stood up with great confidence and said that he learned, "when we get to heaven, we will all have big noses, blue eyes, and curly hair." Here was one of many "happys" for my heart yesterday.

We spent time with a village family last week that will be our group's family for the remainder of the summer. It is an older woman, Jjajja Magrin, her daughter, Mama Mary, and Mama Mary's nephew, Enos. They are so sweet. We carried water from a well for them, and let me tell you, I will have some muscles when I return Stateside. My goal is to be able to carry one of the buckets on my head by summer's end.

God is blessing right and left. We are having a wonderful time getting to know people, loving on them, and learning how to do all things Uganda-style (such as mopping with a rag quickly and efficiently). The interns are great. We've faced no power and no water and it has been nothing less than a fantastic trip. I love it here. My heart already finds itself settling. Thank you, Jesus. And thank you guys for your prayers!!

Not dependent on me.

"My forgiveness does not depend on you asking for it."

These are the words I so clearly heard spoken to me yesterday as I spent time with the Father. I had just finished reading The Chasm by Randy Alcorn. Talk about an intense read and a clear enough picture that I will probably never forget it! In my past I've always struggled with a bit of legalism mixed in with my theology. If someone asked me if you could earn your way into the Kingdom, or into the Savior's love, or into the community of the Way, I would say, "No way!" However, my heart has had a bit of trouble fully agreeing with this. It isn't something I have always recognized.. it was rather something that Dad has had to pry into the deepest recesses of my heart to show me. If I did something wrong, I would ask for forgiveness, but instead of the knowledge that His answer is ALWAYS a resounding "Yes," there was a small, hidden room with a little person, in the back of mind, screaming silently but deadly, "What if He says 'No! I've forgiven you too many times for this! Not this time!'"

Yesterday, when I heard His words, I had to ponder them. Did He mean to say that we do not have to ask for forgiveness? Surely not! What was He trying to tell me? I just didn't get it. So I analyzed, all day, and I asked and asked, and listened and listened. And finally I heard this response:

"Kaley, when I died, my blood covered every one of your sins. Each drop covered a multitude of the tiny nails that you drive into my feet (The Chasm). When you sin, yes, in that moment you are hostile to Me (Romans 8:7), and yes, it breaks My heart. But it has been covered. And nothing you can do surprises Me. I know what is coming. I knew what was coming in every future moment on the day that you first accepted me. But when you sin, then have a moment of not wanting to ask for forgiveness because you're afraid of my response? That means that you think forgiveness is based on YOUR ASKING. It is as though YOU, not I hold the power."

I had to wrestle with this. It was deeper than I knew what to do with at the moment. Wow. And then I tried to come up with an analogy. Most frequently my analogies deal with my job. This one was no different. When parents send their children to a boarding school, the children do not get a say in it. They can either accept it or not accept it, but neither will change the fact that they are there. Most of them for the entirety of a year. The World Maker died for me. I can either accept His blood or not accept it, but neither will change the fact that His blood was spilled for my sins. He forgave me before I accepted Him, and continues to forgive me whether or not I ask for that forgiveness. It doesn't mean that I should stop seeking forgiveness. But my issue is a heart issue. So instead of a question that could have a "yes" or "no" answer (Will you forgive me?), I need to change my thought/prayer pattern to "I accept Your blood, I accept that You took a nail or a thorn or a slap for what I just did. Thank You." And hopefully it turns my heart more toward grace rather than toward an opening for fear. Thank You, Yesu.

Tapestry

I cannot even imagine feeling more connected to a group of people moreso than I do right now. Today I met my fellow interns for Uganda... and let me just say that it had been inspiring to be sure.

To start off with, I never even had to tell anyone that I am a hugger. I was met at the door with one and more waited inside. :D This absolutely made my day. I have had the awesome opportunity to listen to stories of life and ask questions, time to observe, time to hear the hearts of our leaders, and time to make s'mores. What an incredible night!

Beyond and slightly deeper than all of that, tonight has been a night of connections. We are all a tapestry woven together by a loving Weaver's grand design. And how well tonight represents that! People here know people that I grew up with, people that I have done ministry with, people whom I have never met but have heard their names several times at work. Friends of friends connect the world and it will give you goose bumps to realize just how small of a world it is in light of such an unfathomable Creator. At least, it does me. I can look out the window of an airplane and watch people grow tinier and tinier with each passing second, and it stirs a feeling of insignificance within me. Beautiful (no sarcasm added). "He must become greater; I must become less." And this week has been such a wonderful reminder of that. He knows me better than I know myself. He knows the future. He knew I would need a fast before my toughest week at work in a long time (spiritually, emotionally, physically). He knew that the leadership of Sozo would repeat words back to me that I tell the girls daily, and that because I say them, I can understand and appreciate the full value of them. My God is faithful. He sees and HOLDS everything, and yet wants to know me intimately. God is wonderful. And God will do even greater things than these. I love You, Abba. Thank You for being You. Please help me bless others as You have blessed.

Kaley Ann

Uganda!!

Hey guys. Happy Chinese New Year! Xin Nian Kuai Le!!

Lord willing, I'm off on a new adventure this summer! I've been selected to intern with Sozo International for 8 weeks in Uganda!! I'm so excited to meet the children in the Sozo homes, the families in the community, and the incredible staff that shine His light to all who encounter them! One other group of people that I will have the awesome opportuity to meet this coming weekend (Feb 7-9th) is the group of other interns joining me on this adventure! Yay for new friends!! :)

I have had a longing to go to Africa for a few years now, and it is hard to believe it's happening so soon! Most days it still feels surreal. I have witnessed over and over in the past 3 years since I moved to Toccoa just how often Dad ties everything together in our lives to glorify His name. I don't expect this trip to be any different. I know that working at Little Caesar's and at Shepherd's Hill Academy has taught me several lessons that I will carry with me on each step of this journey.

I'm sure this post is going to be a bit of everywhere, but please bear with me.

The "snowpocolypse" in the South ovet the past few days has served to drive home some scripture that Dad keeps taking me to. Romans 8:4 essentially says that we are called to fulfill the law as Christians. When I do, I am walking by the Spirit. When I obey the speed limit (like everyone had been forced to over the past several days due to icey conditions), then I am fulfilling the law. I am walking by the Spirit. Therefore, I am at peace when I see a cop - especially if the roads are dangerous because I know that he/she is there to help. I am not stressed. My mind can be set on things of the Spirit (love, joy, peace) instead of the things of the flesh (anxiety and fear). And others see that. Whether it be my girls understanding that I am stressed during work or people in walmart seeing me smile even when lines are long. Will we have to deal with stress in this life? Yes, of course. We cannot control every circumstance. But there are some that we can. Why would I choose to make myself more tense when there is no reason to?

The idea behind fundraising stresses me out. I will need about $5000 to make this intetship happen. Our culture screams at us to be independent! Take care of everything ourselves! Many times in my past, the church has told me that I shouldn't do something if I don't have the money to. However, someone very wise once told me that there are people here in my backyard that long to go on missions themselves, but for one reason or another they cannot. So their response is to support missions. If I do not offer people the option of coming on this journey with me, then I am depriving those very people of a blessing. So this is me asking or offering instead of stressing. If you would like to donate to my journey and walk it with me, there are a couple of options. The first is to send money or a check made payable to Sozo Children to 399 Jordan Rd., Toccoa, Ga 30577. The second is through Sozo's website (www.sozochildren.org/interns) where I will have an individual donation page set up by tomorrow.

I also need a core group of people praying for me this summer. If you would like to be a part of that please let me know.

So today I choose. I choose to leave for places early so there is no temptation to speed. I choose to go the back way so there is no temptation to stop and buy coffee. I choose to trust that Abba will provide funding and prayers for my internship. And I choose to smile. A lot. Have an incredible day guys. Love y'all.

Stones

What do you think of when someone says the word "prostitute"? To be perfectly honest, I grew up in a small town, and it was a word that was avoided - in my life, in my school, in my home. We were far from what Americans would consider rich, but we were always well provided for. I knew people existed who were homeless, people who felt that they had to go to extremes to survive sometimes, but I never thought about it. It was always one of those "not here, not people I know" things.

Last night a memory emerged though, as a friend picked out a song from my childhood to play on his ipod. Reba McIntyre's Fancy. I never knew why I liked it as a child, but I was singing its lyrics long, long before I ever had a clue what they meant. When I heard it last night, though, the power of what it meant fell like stones in my stomach.

About a year ago, God awakened me to a passion for people on the streets, for women who feel like they are not worth anything more, for people who are trifficked. Last night, He gave me proof that the verses that I have grown up knowing are so much more than real. He showed me that before I ever even knew what a real relationship with Him was, He was creating in me a passion and a love for the people He was calling me to.

We are called to love all people. God is calling all of His creation back to Himself, and He has a purpose for each of us. How can anyone imagine differently?

"My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:15-16

"And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:27-28

"Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction." - John F. Kennedy

"Enough"... what does this word mean?

Tonight I looked back at 3 years ago while I was in China, and I discovered a word study done on the words "total trust." From my friends I received responses such as absolute, without fail, committed to the care of another; and then there were the responses that I can't forget. "Opening yourself to be vulnerable and believing that only good can come of it." "Trust is walking off of a cliff knowing that one of two things will happen: 1)you'll sprout wings and fly, or 2)there will be a trampoline at the bottom of the cliff waiting to catch you."

In a time and place where I could do absolutely nothing else, I learned what it meant to fully rely on and have TOTAL TRUST in my Savior. Now, I find myself at college again, and stressed as the semester draws to a close. Stressed with work, stressed with school, stressed over the fact that there is NEVER enough time to spend with my friends or with God. sigh.

And tonight all God has said, in every email or blog I have read, is "enough." Hiding in the shadow of my wings is enough. So what does this word mean? A few different places I stumbled upon in looking it up in the Bible is Joel 2 (v.19) and Haggai 1 (v.6). Reading the two of these in context caught my attention. In Joel, the Lord tells His people to return to Him, and when they do, he pours out "grain, new wine and olive oil, enough to satisfy you fully." In Haggai, the people are searching for any other way to be filled other than in God Himself, and God "called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the olive oil and everything else the ground produces, on people and livestock, and on all the labor of your hands." The same exact things that He pours out in Joel, He withholds in Haggai.

Grain makes bread, right? And wine in the Old Testament is the choice drink for celebration? In the New Testament, Jesus Himself becomes these. If we choose to turn to Him, He IS our bread, our wine, ENOUGH to satisfy us fully.

Have you ever sat at a wedding and watched the bride and groom walk down the aisle and all you knew was that the whole moment was beautiful? It was filling? It just seemed right? Do we make time to have those moments with Jesus. There is so much He wants to tell us. How often do we let Him be ENOUGH??

"How priceless is Your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of Your wings. They feast on the abundance of Your house; You give them drink from Your river of delights. For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light we see light."- Psalm 36:7-9